Here lately, I've had a lot to think about. I've been going through what I like to call a "Mental" domino affect. By this I mean...one thing leads me to think about something and then that thing makes me think about something else and so on. It's hard when this happens because it leads me to think about stuff that I could have sworn I had locked up in a nice little chest in my head where it could never be unlocked, so I could never think about it. But there it is. The memories flashing before my eyes whenever I zone out and cause me to think about them... A lot.
This isn't really a bad thing, but it is a hard thing. These things I've kept buried need to be thought about every once in a while to keep the memory alive. You don't want to forget memories or you will be forgetting part of something that made you who you are. I've come to realize this when I was attempting to shove painful experiences out of my head. I've also learned that totally forgetting something is impossible.
According to previous studies, if you think about something, just one thing for three minutes straight... It will be filed into your head forever. So that's why when something good happens you are supposed to stop and embrace it.
You may not be able to quickly whip that memory out of your head, but it will be there...you will remember it when your own mental domino affect happens. It will come out of nowhere and hit you square in the face.
After learning all of this... I've decided to see through the pretenses I painted over bad memories, trying to make them pretty. I've decided to stop trying to forget everything. I've officially decided I'm going to make every memory from here on out worth seeing when my domino affect happens.
I'm going to start seeing things for what they truly are...and that's beautiful.
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